Hello there, reader.
I’m siiphify, the author in this current series. C:
Beware, this is actually my first Hetalian reader insert and with the one and only sexy Pirate!England. (( //shriek ))
He may be out of character from time to time, possibly, maybe, yeah. Blargh.
Enjoy none the less!


The ship was bustling with the crew running, shouting and taking orders from the Captain; including myself, of course. I was tossed a rope and then quickly tied a knot to the pole tightly and kept a look out for anything suspicious. I stretched as everyone else quickly finished their duties and then went back to the regular sailing schedule.

Arthur—er— Captain Arthur, started to go back into his cabin rummaging through the letters from his French rival. I stood beside the door as he slammed it shut.

“Cap is in a bad mood~!” I sang outside his cabin.

“Shut up, woman! Bloody he...” I giggled under my breath when his voice became a murmur. “Don’t you dare disturb me in that behaviour again! Or else I’ll make you jump over board!” I let out a chuckle and rolled my eyes. Says you, Cap. You’ve been flirtin’ with the ladies ever since I could remember... I would throw YOU overboard if I was in your position!

“Yeah, yeah! See ya later, Captain! Anything happens, I’ll come in!” I waved his light threat off. Coming in without hesitation that is. I grinned and even if he did make me go overboard, I would still be in the crew none the less. I was the only one who would cook decently, or rather, cook at all.


I was confused at first when they said it was a miracle I could cook. I still am.

I shrugged and walked off to help out the rest of the crew. As I was re-arranging some things out of the way, I heard a low chuckle behind me.

“What?” I looked behind my shoulder as strands of my Hair colour fell onto my face; I blew them away and tied them into a tighter ponytail.

“He he...~ Ever since you came in, ___________, the crew is having better health.” The man grinned widely, showing a solid silver tooth. I smirked and crossed my arms.

“How so, dear friend?” He leaned in closer as the other crew members chuckled under their breath while working.

“The Captain can’t cook! Haven’t you tried his food? Looks more burnt then the ashes in a fireplace, I say!” I stared at him, he stared back. Then the rest of the crew stopped and stared at us.

Next thing we knew, we were laughing our asses off.

“N-no way right?! Ahahahaha!!” I held onto my stomach and kept on laughing like crazy. The very man that had the riches and gold and won every challenge he was challenged.

We didn’t know how long we were laughing for, but it must have been loud. With a hard slam on the door, Captain walked out and barked at us like there was no tomorrow.

“What in the bloody hell are you all laughing for?!” Everyone froze and was silent; except me. I was giggling under my breath and hid my face. But the thing is, the Captain was half drunk and half sober; so we didn’t get much of a scolding as we usually would have.


Later that Evening

I stretched as everyone and I set foot onto the port in a nearby town. We were going to rest in an inn for the night, load and do a quick trade and then in the early morning, we’ll set back off to France with whatever problem the French settled. But I still have no clue why we were going there; maybe some sort of challenge the Frenchie is making to the Brit?
“Eugh... Let’s not get my mind wrapped around that too much...” I yawned and we headed into the inn with a loud bang; actually, it was already a loud ‘bang’ in the inn itself. I glanced behind my shoulder and saw the Captain already sitting at a table with several women surrounding him.

I waved it off and let him have his way for only tonight. Only. We don’t want some random woman saying she got pregnant; and, then, shit goes down from there.

“Night, guys! Keep an eye on the Cap, for me will ya?!”

“Got it, __________! We’ll keep an eye on the Captain while you’re snoozin’!” I gave them a thumb up and walked up the stairs to my room and locked it from the inside; I quickly changed into my nightwear and settled into my temporary bed. We hardly ever spend the nights on board; no idea why, but it’s the Caps orders.

“Mm... May as well follow them...” Then off I went to sleep; despite the annoying racket downstairs.


Just as I predicted.

We’re off sailing early in the morning.

I groaned as I sat up in my bed and looked at myself in a mirror on the dresser. Can’t I stay in a little while longer? I was about to slide under the covers again till a voice called me from downstairs.

“__________!! GET YOUR BLOODY ASS OUT OF THERE. WE’RE STARTING TO LEAVE!” The Captain called from downstairs. I growled under my breath and glared at the door as I heard the main one from downstairs shut itself.

“Way to woo a woman, Kirkland...” Sighing, I quickly changed back to my every day wear. Putting the payment on the bed and slammed the door shut while tying my hair in a ponytail. I slid down the railings and jumped onto the floor running out to catch up with them. They were about to set sail and as they did, I grabbed a rope hanging by and swung on It onto the deck. I heard a click behind me and turned; it was the Captain.

“.... A new record. Good job, __________.” He grinned and patted my head before slamming his door shut. I narrowed my eyes at the door as the crew lightly clapped with sarcasm. Something was wrong with the Caps behaviour, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I shrugged and decided we should get to France quickly. I didn’t want to keep waking up several times in the early morning...

“Alright, alright! Let’s get sailing, guys! Or else the Captain will get pissed!” I commanded the men to set sail. I could already imagine what scenario would occur if the Captain met face to face with Francis Bonnefoy.

But the question is, what exactly did that French man send to the Captain?